Past Midnight

Pens and pencils never help.
I'm trying to think for myself.
Sketchbooks and loose leaf fail.
My inspiration is locked in jail.
I try to plant hope like a seed.
You see, you are the one I need.

Each day the sun will set.
The time when night and day first met.
Filled with orange, yellow and red.
Darkness creeps inside my head.
The night moves on without words.
I begin to hear the chirping birds.

So tell me, how did things come together?
I watch my unstable heart tether.
Will you reassure me in the end?
A message I am unable to send.
What else am I supposed to do?
I'll always be happy speaking to you.

Why do I deserve it?

Why do I deserve the names you call me?
Why do I deserve your hatred?
I try to be the best that I can be.
It is never enough.

Why do you stand by and watch me cry?
You said you will defend me until you die.
I know you're scared of him too.
I can't face him without you.

I'm scared to eat, I'm scared to sleep.
I'm afraid to open my eyes in the morning.
I hold up a smile and help people who need it.
But who is here to help me?

I am a child, so what merit is it to yell?
I am like a punching bag to you.
For someone 3 times my size.
Nobody can save me, nobody.

Love

How can you know what love truly is?

Is love like a star, bright and apparent in the sky?
A sight so marvelous to your eyes.
Is love like a stone on the ground?
Innocently walking along, you trip on it and fall down.
Is love like a bird, flying in the air?
Leaving behind it's worries and care.
Is love like an ant, crawling on the sand?
Small enough to hold in the palm of your hand.
Is love like a ring, with a brilliant glow?
More precious than we can ever know.
Is love like a flower, fragrant and in bloom?
Instantly, it can light up the room.

Love is everything around us.

Shadow

I am a shadow
Vexed by my own transparency.
Oh! What I would give to be-
Someone that you always see.

In the night I am hidden.
By darkness, I'm forbidden
To speak my mind, to be alive.
In the day I am lost under feet
Stepped upon with hopeless defeat.

Emancipate me if you will!
I'm tired of this windowsill...
Observing the world and staying behind
But search for me- you cannot find.
For I am a shadow, concealed away.
It does not matter what I have to say.

Vulnerability

Enchant me.
It's so easy isn't it?
Without effort, without regret...
With nothing to hold you back.

Reluctantly, a girl will believe anything.
She will accept your words...
And bite her lip with confusion...
When she doesn't see a reaction.

What did she do wrong?
She thought she was just fine.
Though in her heart she knows she's imperfect;
Maybe her flaws did her in this time.

Another fresh heart;
Young and filled with fear.
Another fragile heart;
Out in the open to be torn apart.

Mind vs. Heart

I'm blank.
Every time I to put my thoughts into words, it doesn't work. Recently, more than ever I have been thinking with my emotions rather than my mind. It's so easy to think with the mind, because the words come naturally. When you think with your heart, it's not so simple. There's some things you just feel, but there's no way to say them. At times, I think it's better that they are left unsaid. I think with my heart and try with all my might to express myself subtlety in hopes that you might understand...and I wish that if you do understand, you'll smile. Just smile without words; a silent grin that no mind will detect as significant, but to the heart it is worth endless words.

Caught between two worlds

I am so grateful, grateful for everything. Exams are next week, I am super stressed...but no big deal. There is so much that I want to say and do....so much holding me back. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I am on a border between two worlds and I have one foot on each side. Will I ever choose one? I'm not so sure. At times, I wish I could let out everything I am feeling and thinking. However, I can't do that. It's always good to keep people guessing. If I reveal all, it won't be a mystery anymore. People always ask questions expecting an answer. When people ask me something, I give them an answer, but it's almost never what they are looking for. You see, I don't like to feed ignorance. People need to learn to think and accept things the way they are instead of searching for reasons to justify everything. Nothing is going to make sense 100% of the time, so it's best to just let it be and go on with your life. You can't sort me; I don't fit into any of your categories, I promise you that.

Little Girl

Little girl, she thinks she knows the world.
This girl, she's pretty, that's for sure.
Her voice is loud, her tongue is sharp
Everyone who's anyone knows her.

Little girl, do you know?
Things aren't as they seem to be
You laugh and smile but all the while
Your words and thoughts mean nothing to me.

You will discover, in this world
That not everything is sweet and kind.
As you joke around, you will be passed by.
No one will esteem an undeveloped mind.

So next time little girl, hold your tongue.
Think before you speak, little one.
The stars aren't yours; you must learn
Respect is something you have to earn.

Happenstance

Blue lights glow in my mind
As I contemplate your existence
I run through my memories like a story
How did it all come together since that day?

Do I deserve it?
I wish I understood
Why my thoughts are dreamy
What's the reason for my restlessness?

Somehow I knew you
I wasn't scared to trust
Though I hide from all others
There was no reason to run away

You didn't break my shell
You warmed me to a certain point
Like an egg beneath a nurturing dove
Until I hatched; curious and unafraid

Why me, why now?
I am the luckiest girl.
And I wouldn't trade what I have
For a million hearts to call my own.

Girl

I am a girl.
Build me up.
Tear me down.
Push me around.

Make me smile.
Stay a while.
Tell me things.
Break my wings.

After all, I will fall.
Down down down.
To the ground.
Without a sound.

I'll always listen.
Despite the lies.
Ignoring the disguise.
Until my demise.

Whatever

Sometimes I wonder why I do the things that I do.
However, at this point, I don't care.
Do I need you to notice what I say and do?
No, I don't.
Yet, why do I wish it?
Why does it even matter to me?

Do I need to hide my feelings behind big words
and twisted sentences full of images
in hopes that you will understand the meaning
so I do not have to confess what I feel?

The truth is that I don't need to.
But I do, I always do.

Never satisfied.

I'm not perfect.
I'm sorry, can you forgive me?
If you want, I can be like the others.
But I've always took pride in individuality.

It's hard for me to stand by and watch
while people tear others apart
because they are different.
I know how it feels.

I don't want to be like you.
I am not arrogant.
A blind patriot without a heart.
A ruthless follower of the crowd.

So tell me, if you love your country so much...
Why didn't you marry one of your own?
The blood in my veins is only half yours.

I am a child of many great nations.
I am a melting pot of religions and cultures.
I am a wanderer; everywhere is my home.
Your ignorance won't be carried on.