School Again

I'm scared out of my mind. School is back, and this year is going to be way harder than last. I really have no idea how I am going to manage. I miss being in almost every class with my friend Jill...now we're in only 3. Some of my classes are filled with people I barely know.
Shyness tends to stick to you like a parasite or something. It's so annoying that I can't comfortably approach people and say hello. There are so many nice and interesting people in my class, but I barely know more than a few by name.
Maybe I will grow out of my shy stage. How am I supposed to follow my "dreams" if I am to shy to introduce myself? So pathetic! It never used to be this bad.

I'll probably stay quiet forever hoping you will notice me, but It will never happen. Things do not happen on their own, an action causes a reaction. I'm frozen.

Impossible Family

Sometimes it feels like my family is impossible. Whenever I try to speak up, I get shot down. After all, I'm a child, and a girl....so nothing I have to say even matters.

I don't think many girls my age here struggle internally with entirely contrary opinions to pretty much everyone in our society. It's so hard to hold in my feelings and opinions that are seen as odd or weird in our culture. Does nobody care? No, that's not true, because people care. Not everyone closes their eyes to the world.

Is it normal to worry about political and social issues as a young girl? Is it wrong to discuss them with family? Apparently it is. Many of us "Americans" have this really closed minded attitude towards other countries, religions and cultures that are different from their own. We're quick to slap a label on someone's forehead based on those things.

Anyways, yeah. It's hard to shut up about this stuff because it's flowing through my head 24/7. I don't want people to label me as some stupid American like they often do to many on the internet. The world is my country. I love America, but I cannot ignore my place on this planet and how it affects people all around me.